Scamble

Because every Nigerian Scammer needs more surrealism

Simon the Elephant

Rita/Mbutu/Jenny (current Dec 05)

Mugo & the Pink Flamingo (long)

One liners

Jelly & the light bulb

ABBA

Wicked Wendy

Nwa and the Elephant Called Simon

I was sitting at home minding my own business on a Saturday night, when suddenly a request pops up on Skype. Odd. Who is this? I accept the contact request and start chatting.

Fortunately the chat was pretty slow - I actually built an entire website while we were chatting! So although my work was slow it wasn't a complete waste of my time. Was a complete waste of his though!

I start off playing dumb, buttering him up a bit, setting myself up as rich, dumb and naive. That bit is a bit boring, but necessary to get him on the hook. The first silliness starts at around 9:27:14 PM (so skip to there if you want), and gets progressively sillier. Too silly too soon and you lose them. As always, eventually got bored. My comments in (round brackets)


[8:46:20 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: hello? 
[8:46:20 PM] Mark: Mark has shared contact details with CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS.
[8:46:28 PM] Mark: hi....?
[8:47:01 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: am barrister nwa chi
[8:47:18 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: am a lawyer from benin republic
[8:47:23 PM] Mark: ok
[8:47:30 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: nice to meet you
[8:47:39 PM] Mark: hi
[8:47:48 PM] Mark: Nwa Chi is your name?
[8:47:57 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: yes
[8:48:39 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: am here searching for the family of my late client and 
i just meet you
[8:48:58 PM] Mark: Ok
[8:49:01 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: my late client from germany
[8:49:34 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: can we make good friends?
[8:49:46 PM] Mark: Maybe
[8:49:56 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: yea
[8:50:22 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: so what do you do as business?
[8:50:50 PM] Mark: I run a large marketing company
[8:51:24 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: ok, that is good
[8:51:55 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: am a lawyer and also have a mining company
[8:52:08 PM] Mark: great. Mining company is in Benin?
[8:52:34 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: yes, we work as agent
[8:52:44 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: to buyer
[8:52:53 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: gold and diamonds
[8:53:15 PM] Mark: Sounds like you know what you are doing
[8:53:26 PM] Mark: Difficult business
[8:53:47 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: yes, but have much money
[8:54:11 PM] Mark: Great
[8:54:16 PM] Mark: Me too ;)
[8:54:23 PM] *** CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS sent my pic.JPG ***
Nwa Chi the handsome
[8:55:39 PM] Mark: You are a VERY handsome man Nwa.
[8:55:52 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: thanks
[8:55:57 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: and you too
[8:58:35 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: i will give you my private skype then you add me
[8:59:02 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: maybe we can make business if you want
[8:59:11 PM] Mark: Depends what sort of business
[8:59:22 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: if you can get gold buyer from you area
[8:59:37 PM] Mark: I have been talking to some of my competitors about buying them out
[8:59:44 PM] Mark: But can't find a company which I think is good enough
[9:00:17 PM] Mark: Most of them are small companies, and they only want $500,000 - $1,000,000 
to sell out. Too small.
[9:00:27 PM] Mark: What's wrong with this skype?
[9:01:11 PM] Mark: My lawyer does the valuations for me. I don't really understand how it 
works. I just trust him.
[9:01:19 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: notting but not on all the time
[9:01:56 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: how many kilos do the companies needs?
[9:02:19 PM] Mark: Well they are marketing companies, I dont know much about gold. But I do 
know its a good business to be in.
[9:02:35 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: i have my good friend his names are DR MARK FAVOUR
[9:04:16 PM] Mark: Ok
[9:04:22 PM] Mark: A Doctor is good
[9:04:34 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: with 1.000.000 dollars you can buy many gold
[9:04:42 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: yes
[9:04:51 PM] Mark: I thought you would need more than $1m?
[9:04:51 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: very good
[9:05:02 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: no
[9:05:12 PM] Mark: Oh that's pretty easy then
[9:05:37 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: 1m is what they will need for the exporting of the gold
[9:05:51 PM] Mark: That sounds cheap?
[9:06:17 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: then after the final assay report the buyer can selle and 
pay the seller
[9:06:27 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: listen
[9:07:01 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: the gold is 23,000 dollars per a kilo
[9:07:31 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: then the seller have 500 kilos
[9:07:42 PM] Mark: Ok
[9:07:53 PM] Mark: What is the minimum? More or less than 500kg?
[9:08:45 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: but the buyer will pay upfront 1.000.000 for the export 
expainses of the gold to the 
buyers country airport or refinery
[9:08:58 PM] Mark: $1,000,000 for expenses?
[9:09:42 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: yes, but it will be dedect from the sellers fund before payment
[9:10:06 PM] Mark: So if I were to spend $1m, how much would go to gold and how much to fees?
[9:10:22 PM] Mark: More than 15% in fees would seem like a lot?
[9:10:46 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: you know you will have to pay for taxes issurance transportation
and legal documents 
from minister of mining
[9:11:08 PM] Mark: Of course
[9:11:37 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: that is not yours
[9:11:51 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: it from the account of the seller
[9:11:55 PM] Mark: Ok
[9:12:48 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: you will dedect the 15% after assay report and pay him the 
balance
[9:13:28 PM] Mark: How much are the fees?
[9:13:53 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: no fees
[9:14:29 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: all the fees will be paid by the seller and ship the gold to 
the buyer
[9:14:44 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: that is what the 15% is for
[9:15:06 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: they can take 15% or 10%
[9:15:29 PM] Mark: Ok
[9:15:54 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: the buyer can come down and see all the action
[9:16:09 PM] Mark: To Benin?
[9:16:43 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: as we always like the buyer to come down so that the buyer 
will see all and confirm it all
[9:16:53 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: yes Benin
[9:16:56 PM] Mark: Ok
[9:17:00 PM] Mark: That makes sense
[9:17:25 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: but if the buyer cannot come because of one thing or other
[9:17:33 PM] Mark: I wonder how much a plane ticket is to benin.... I think business class would 
probably only be $8,000 or 
something.
[9:17:42 PM] Mark: It's the time though
[9:17:46 PM] Mark: Long trip, out of the office
[9:18:42 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: this can only take 4 to 5 working days
[9:18:49 PM] Mark: Hmmmmm
[9:18:53 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: yes
[9:19:01 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: it not hard
[9:19:01 PM] Mark: Is there another option?
[9:19:15 PM] Mark: Perhaps have a lawyer in Benin visit?
[9:19:52 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: buyer can transfer the 15% to the sellers account
[9:20:41 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: then we as the agent will get the money from the seller and 
make all the shipping cost and 
ship the gold by air france
[9:21:40 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: give me your email
[9:22:28 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: i will call DR MARK FAVOUR and get the FCO from him and send 
to you
(remember this - FCO)
[9:22:57 PM] Mark: FCO?
[9:23:03 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: yes
[9:23:04 PM] Mark: Who is Dr Mark Favour?
[9:23:07 PM] Mark: What is an FCO?
[9:23:17 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: the seller
[9:23:26 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: the owner of the gold
[9:23:43 PM] Mark: So does he own the mine? Or a distributor?
[9:23:44 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: he have 2000 kilos in storck
[9:23:55 PM] Mark: Is that all? Can he get more if I want it?
[9:24:05 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: but he can selle 500 kilos to buyer
[9:24:42 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: he own the mine in burkina faso and in ghana
[9:25:01 PM] Mark: Oh I've always wanted to visit Burkina Faso
(this is actually true. Well, except always. For a few years)
[9:25:29 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: and he have many local miners from all country here in 
west africa
[9:25:43 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: really?
[9:25:50 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: he have mine there
[9:25:58 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: you can come
[9:26:44 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: it will be good if you come in burkina faso or here in 
cotonou benin and see the gold
[9:27:14 PM] Mark: It is the busy period at work though, that's the problem
[9:27:34 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: ok
[9:27:54 PM] Mark: You know what it's like, late february, everyone planning for christmas.
[9:28:03 PM] Mark: Is it the same there?
[9:28:19 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: no
[9:28:50 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: our christmas is 25 december
[9:29:19 PM] Mark: That's strange
[9:29:41 PM] Mark: We have ours on 14 Sundery
[9:29:51 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: are you a chritaine?
[9:30:17 PM] Mark: Yes I am a chritaine.
[9:30:27 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: am too
[9:30:38 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: that is good
[9:31:57 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: maybe after the christmas you can come or you make the 
transfer of the 15% then we join the 
seller and take cares of it
[9:32:21 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: you will give us you full details
[9:32:32 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: and company informations
[9:32:32 PM] Mark: 14 Sundery isn't that far away. Do you celebrate anything in Sundery?
[9:33:18 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: easther
[9:33:44 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: the death of christ
[9:34:02 PM] Mark: You celebrate someone dying? He must have been mean.
[9:34:04 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: our lord jesus dead
[9:34:34 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: that remembering his death
[9:35:00 PM] Mark: Oh? Why do you need a day to remember? Do you have a bad memory?
[9:35:22 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: he is our lord
[9:35:46 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: we belived on him
[9:35:59 PM] Mark: If he is your Lord, why would you forget? That seems odd
[9:36:10 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: so we remember everything about him
[9:36:48 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: what do you means by seems odd?
[9:37:19 PM] Mark: Well you say he is your Lord, right?
[9:37:30 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: yes
[9:37:41 PM] Mark: But you have a special day to remember. Do you forget about it that easily 
that you need a day?
[9:37:44 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: the savour of the hole eath
[9:38:29 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: we have the day he was bone
[9:38:39 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: and the day he dead
[9:39:08 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: 25 december is the day he was bone
[9:39:29 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: eather is the time he was killed
[9:39:59 PM] Mark: So he was only alive for about 4 months, from when he was bone in 
december to easter?
[9:40:13 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: nooooo
[9:40:52 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: he live long time before he dead
[9:41:01 PM] Mark: Ok
[9:41:04 PM] Mark: You are very smart Nwa
[9:41:19 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: really?
[9:41:25 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: thanks
[9:47:15 PM] Mark: So what is an FCO? I only know that to stand for Fecal Cleanliness Order. 
I had one of them from the council last year. Wasn't good... is that what an FCO means to you?
(council had to fine me 3 times before I sorted it out to their satisfaction)
[9:50:50 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: listen
[9:51:20 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: FCO is full cooprate offer
[9:51:54 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: that is the fist document that the seller have to give the buyer
[9:52:10 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: to offer him of the selling
[9:53:13 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: and it will carry the seller company informations and the 
quality and quantity of the goods
[9:54:37 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: then once the seller send to the buyer with the conditions 
of the transaction
[9:54:48 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: then the buyer will sign it
[9:55:17 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: means he have accept the transaction with the conditions
[9:55:38 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: that is  FCO
[9:55:48 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: do you understand it?
[9:56:08 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: NWACHI  LAW  CHAMBERS 
 Address:  C/125 Guinkomey, 
Cotonou  Republic of Benin 
 Tel   :  +229 9674 1822
Email:  nwachilawchambers@yahoo.com
[9:58:39 PM] Mark: What is that address for?
[9:59:23 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: that is my full contacts and adress
[10:02:12 PM] Mark: Yes, so Dr Mark Favour will send me a Fecal Cleanliness Order?
[10:03:52 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: yes
[10:04:55 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: he will send you the deposite certificate and his 
company documents
[10:05:20 PM] Mark: That's exciting!
[10:06:04 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: then the rest of the documents will be send to you after 
the 15% is paid
[10:06:05 PM] Mark: Feels like 13 Sundery, all that exciting anticipation
[10:06:57 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: they will abtain the documents from the minister of mining 
on your names and send you copies
[10:07:36 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: then the oreginal copies will come with the gold by air france
[10:08:48 PM] Mark: I have to go to france to pick it up?
[10:09:24 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: am whorching the eath quake in new zerland
[10:09:38 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: nooo
[10:10:01 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: the air france is international air plain
[10:10:06 PM] Mark: I am whorching it as well. It's horable.
[10:10:22 PM] Mark: I would prefer something fancy, but will settle for plain I guess
[10:10:43 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: they will bring it to you direct to your country air port or refinery
[10:11:25 PM] Mark: What if the refinery doesn't have a runway?
[10:12:02 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: it depend on you
[10:12:11 PM] Mark: I need to build my own runway?
[10:12:24 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: they will bring it to the adress you will give us
[10:12:31 PM] Mark: Could they drop it out the window of the air fancy/air plain?
[10:12:45 PM] Mark: I need to wear a dress? What sort of person do you think I am?
[10:13:07 PM] Mark: Only Saturday evenings.
[10:13:31 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: listen
[10:13:58 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: they air france will visit your country
[10:14:09 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: they will come with the gold
[10:14:25 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: or another air companies
[10:14:38 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: we have money air companies
[10:16:01 PM] Mark: Are you getting cross with me?
[10:16:01 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: we can chooce one that always visit your country and give them the
gold to deliver to you
[10:17:29 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: what cross?
[10:18:02 PM] *** Missed call from CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS. ***
(not sure what this was about - he tried to make a skype call. I didn't have my mic plugged in).
[10:18:10 PM] Mark: I don't have my nose phones plugged in
[10:18:15 PM] Mark: You seem angry
[10:18:40 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: no
[10:18:43 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: am ok
[10:20:17 PM] Mark: Are you sure? Would you like a cuddle?
[10:20:52 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: what is cuddle?
[10:21:21 PM] Mark: A special thing that happens between two men, especially when one is as 
handsome as you.
[10:22:19 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: i have never done that before
[10:22:29 PM] Mark: Is it something you have thought about?
[10:22:46 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: i have my sex with oposit sex
[10:23:00 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: ladies
[10:23:07 PM] Mark: The opposite of ladies?
[10:23:18 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: no
[10:23:23 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: i means ladies
[10:23:51 PM] Mark: ladies? That means more than one? You are a player I bet
[10:24:17 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: not player
[10:24:26 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: but like ledies
[10:25:06 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: do you have sex with men?
[10:25:27 PM] Mark: No, but maybe for the right handsome black man...
[10:26:18 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: but not me
[10:27:54 PM] Mark: Of course not! What do you take me for? I'm offended
[10:30:09 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: if you not gold forget it
[10:30:31 PM] Mark: I want gold
[10:30:36 PM] Mark: From Dr Mark Favour
[10:31:23 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: then you talk about it, then when we meet maybe we talk about 
you and i?
[10:31:44 PM] Mark: That sounds wonderfultastic
[10:32:55 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: you have my contacts you can contact me when you whant
[10:33:16 PM] Mark: Doesn't dr mark favour need to send me the Fecal Cleanliness Order first?
[10:33:21 PM] Mark: He is the seller, right?
[10:33:49 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: yes
[10:33:53 PM] Mark: Ok
[10:34:08 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: give me you email and mobile no
[10:34:30 PM] Mark: What type of Doctor is he? Is he like Dr. Dre?
[10:34:36 PM] Mark: Or Dr Spock?
[10:34:36 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: i have called him to send it to me
[10:34:46 PM] Mark: my email is (deleted - a real email I use for gathering spammy stuff)
[10:35:02 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: he is Dr in business
[10:35:17 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: let me check if he sent it
[10:35:51 PM] Mark: my mobile number is 22996333683
(this IS a Benin number - of another Benin scammer).
[10:37:31 PM] Mark: I'm glad I have met a trustworthy and handsome lawyer
[10:38:02 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: are you in benin?
[10:38:14 PM] Mark: No, are you?
[10:38:22 PM] Mark: That's an Australian phone number
[10:40:13 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: if you in benin i can come and sex ur ass
(wow, sudden change in sexual orientation!!!)
[10:40:26 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: just give me adress
[10:40:47 PM] Mark: I'm not in benin. I'm in Bendigo. I know they sound similar.
[10:41:36 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: how should i dial you no
[10:41:44 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: am trying it
[10:41:56 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: and not the no on skype
[10:42:02 PM] Mark: 011 + 982- 043 + 88 & 22996333683
(totally made up of course, meaningless, trying to confuse him)
[10:42:46 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: ok
[10:42:54 PM] Mark: Pretty easy
[10:43:24 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: ok
[10:44:12 PM] Mark: Or you can call +1 (503) 224-4181
(USA FBI Nigerian Scam phone number)
[10:44:34 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: that US
[10:44:45 PM] Mark: yes, I do a lot of business with the US. It routes to me
[10:44:55 PM] Mark: It's a shorter number, thought it might be easier
[10:45:03 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: OK
[10:47:03 PM] Mark: Are you calling me?
[10:47:37 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: I WILL AFTER
[10:49:04 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: i have just spoken with dr mark favour
[10:49:44 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: he said he is going to send you all the documents and some 
gold pics
[10:49:51 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: now
[10:53:21 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: how old are you?
[10:53:36 PM] Mark: I'm simply wonderful.
[10:53:49 PM] Mark: Oh
[10:53:50 PM] Mark: How old
[10:54:05 PM] Mark: Over here that's an insult to ask that question directly
[10:57:25 PM] Mark: I shall return in a flurry
(I had to attend to something in real life)
[10:58:00 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: ok
[11:07:16 PM] Mark: Flurry is over
[11:07:59 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: on phone
[11:08:06 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: a moment
[11:08:22 PM] Mark: Is my business not more important than a phone call?
[11:10:50 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: i was on phone with dr mark favour
[11:11:20 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: he said he has sent the documents with two 
passport copies
[11:11:38 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: am seeing them
Benin passport
This looks legit.

Gold nuggets
There were about 12 photos all kinda variations on this one.

Miners
Not sure if this is cool, scary or sad?

Certificate
I'm convinced

Certificate
I'm sure this would stand up in a court of law. What could possibly go wrong? And why has he been sitting on 2000kg of gold since July 2009?
I've left out a bunch more certificates, Fecal Cleanliness Orders, more gold shots, passports, etc. Pretty boring.
[11:14:04 PM] Mark: You said he'd send me "some gold pics", right?
[11:14:24 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: yes
[11:14:47 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: he sent copies to me too
[11:14:48 PM] Mark: I got photos from him. They are just normal photos. They aren't made of gold.
(I thought this was funny. He missed it totally)
[11:14:52 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: am seeing them
[11:37:32 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: ok
[11:37:43 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: i have seen them all
[11:38:08 PM] Mark: And?
[11:38:39 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: if you can buy the gold contact him and let him know
[11:39:22 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: then you sign the FCO with your copy of passport and send to him 
and copy of the mail to me
[11:39:24 PM] Mark: Did he send the FCO?
[11:39:34 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: yes
[11:39:37 PM] Mark: Ok
[11:39:45 PM] Mark: What form does the gold come in?
[11:39:53 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: you will see it in world
[11:40:14 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: dust and stones
[11:40:20 PM] Mark: Hmmmmm
[11:40:38 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: yes, that is the raw gold
[11:41:04 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: then if you need bars you can ask him if he have in bars?
[11:41:28 PM] Mark: Well I didn't want dust or bars
[11:42:08 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: what do you want?
[11:42:19 PM] Mark: Animal shapes
[11:42:40 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: ok
[11:42:57 PM] Mark: Would prefer giraffes, but I can be flexible.
[11:43:15 PM] Mark: When gold is shaped into animals, I can declare it in customs as novelties and pay less tax
[11:44:11 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: ok
[11:44:29 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: the goldsmit can do that
[11:44:59 PM] Mark: I would like giraffes, meerkats, flamingos and bunyips.
[11:45:11 PM] Mark: And an elephant called Simon.
[11:45:48 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: do you have the pics of it?
[11:46:02 PM] Mark: The elephant called simon?
[11:46:25 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: all the emages
[11:46:51 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: they will need the pics you want it to be
[11:46:53 PM] *** Mark sent simon.jpg ***
Look at this, this is the elephant
Simon the elephant
Simon the elephant

[11:47:14 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: so that they will give it to the goldsmith to do it
[11:48:00 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: that good
[11:48:09 PM] Mark: Did you see the elephant?
[11:48:18 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: they can do it
[11:48:22 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: yes
[11:49:59 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: so will you come ?
[11:50:14 PM] Mark: Yes I will meet the Air Plain
[11:51:50 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: is better so you carry the golds with you back
[11:52:06 PM] Mark: DO you think I can take it as carry on luggage on the plane?
(500kg in carry on luggage???)
[11:52:53 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: no
[11:53:13 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: but the same plain can carry you and your gold
[11:53:21 PM] Mark: Why not? 500grams isn't very heavy/
(I'm getting bored and it's getting late, time to start playing. 500kg is now 500grams)
[11:53:39 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: small
[11:53:53 PM] Mark: 500 grams is about the same as a bottle of water
[11:53:54 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: they don,t selle by grams
[11:54:16 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: is not up to one kilo
[11:54:27 PM] Mark: That's right. 500 grams is less than one kilo.
[11:54:30 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: 1000 grams make 1 kilo
[11:54:34 PM] Mark: yes
[11:54:39 PM] Mark: So I only wanted 500 grams.
[11:55:42 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: unless if you can send money to buy if and send to you by DHL
[11:56:03 PM] Mark: How much would 500 grams cost?
[11:56:23 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: 15,000 dollars
[11:56:38 PM] Mark: I haven't got that much.
[11:56:51 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: ok
[11:57:03 PM] Mark: How about 5 grams?
[11:57:10 PM] Mark: IN the shape of an elephant?
[11:57:14 PM] Mark: But it must be called simon
[11:57:39 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: how much do you have?
[11:58:02 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: then i can see how i can help to get it for you
[11:58:03 PM] Mark: $5.83, and 2 boiled lollies, but they are a little dirty. Oh, and a picture of an 
elephant called simon.
[11:58:54 PM] Mark: How much will that get me?
[11:59:09 PM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: 3grams
[12:01:16 AM] Mark: Is that enough to make an elephant?
[12:01:55 AM] Mark: What if we call the Elephant Ezekiel instead of Simon? Would that help?
(I had a brief network connection error, thus delay and repititon, not sure if my last comments made it)
[12:04:26 AM] Mark: Is that enough to make an elephant?
[12:04:32 AM] Mark: 3 grams?
[12:04:45 AM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: no
[12:05:05 AM] Mark: What if we call the Elephant Ezekiel instead of Simon? Would that help?
[12:05:16 AM] Mark: Or Nwa?
[12:05:31 AM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: no
[12:05:41 AM] Mark: How about if we called it Nigerian Scam?
[12:05:53 AM] Mark: Would that help?
[12:06:14 AM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: it will be if we call it mark
[12:06:24 AM] Mark: Oh Good. Let's do that then!!
[12:06:43 AM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: ok, send the cash
[12:06:50 AM] Mark: The $5.83?
[12:06:54 AM] Mark: And the boiled lollies?
[12:07:06 AM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: yes
[12:07:36 AM] *** Mark sent 5 dollars 83.jpg ***
There ya go
I'm rich
I didn't count it. I think I might have short changed him a bit. And the two boiled lollies.
[12:08:31 AM] Mark: This one is a picture of you:
[12:08:33 AM] *** Mark sent lollies.jpg ***
(this and subsequent pics were pictures designed to annoy him. You don't want to see them, trust me). 
[12:08:38 AM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: send to my email
[12:08:50 AM] Mark: You should look at this one
[12:08:53 AM] Mark: It's a photo of you
[12:09:04 AM] *** Mark sent nwa.jpg ***
[12:09:29 AM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: email
[12:09:42 AM] Mark: I haven't got email. Just skype.
[12:09:52 AM] Mark: And, sadly, no elephant called simon.
[12:09:56 AM] CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS: no
[12:10:32 AM] *** Mark sent nwa.jpg ***
[12:12:14 AM] *** Call to CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS, no answer. ***
[12:12:27 AM] *** Call to CARLOS LAW CHAMBERS, no answer. ***


 

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